A Julian Tavarez Complete Game

Sox 7 Jays 1 in a Julian Tavarez complete game. Who would've thunk it? The starter we were looking for earlier in the season, right under our very eyes.

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#51 and #52

Congrats to Big Papi for breaking Foxx's old Boston HR record. Imagine what could've been without that heart scare...

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They Are Trying to Break Our Hearts

This is the season of angst. The whole "why can't we get guys like that" effect is in full play, what with Anibal Sanchez's no-hitter... losing the 10-9 game to the Royals in the fashion the Sox did pretty much summed it up: pulling ahead with hope, before the bullpen brought it all back down. And then now... 6 runs in the top of the 12th? Eric Hinske hits for Manny Ramirez? They are trying to break out hearts, I think.

At some point in the offseason, the wunderkind Theo and his crew seriously have to look at pitcher evaluation strategies, both for starters and especially for the bullpen.

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Talkin' Softball



This Sox season feels like the Simpsons baseball episode where Mr Burns hires a team of ringers and everyone can't play due to some random misfortune... (Ken Griffey Jr gets gigantism, Roger Clemens can't stop clucking like a chicken...) Except, well, if comedy is tragedy plus time, in this case the comedy seems to have preceded the tragedy...

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The Plague

CART MASTER: Bring out your dead!
CUSTOMER: Here's one.
CART MASTER: Ninepence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
CART MASTER: What?
CUSTOMER: Nothing. Here's your ninepence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
CART MASTER: 'Ere. He says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER: Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not!
CART MASTER: He isn't?
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.
DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER: No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.
CART MASTER: Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go on the cart!
CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby.
CART MASTER: I can't take him.
DEAD PERSON: I feel fine!
CUSTOMER: Well, do us a favour.
CART MASTER: I can't.
CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
CART MASTER: No, I've got to go to the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
CUSTOMER: Well, when's your next round?
CART MASTER: Thursday.
DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: [singing] I feel happy. I feel happy.
[whop]
CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much.
CART MASTER: Not at all. See you on Thursday.

So: Jon Lester has lymphoma. Papi has an irregular heartbeat. It looks like Papelbon hurt his shoulder. Manny's knee problem got lost in that whole shuffle. What is with these injuries? At this rate, I'm not sure the September callups are actually too happy being on this plagued team... hell, if Dave Winfield were on this team and hit that seagull it would probably turn out to have bird flu.

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